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The Bliss of Having Options

"My family is always worried about me because I'm not married. However, I think that if I get married, my whole life will be changed. This is not what I want." says Ling. I am very curious about Ling's life and she tells me calmly that although she is no longer young, she is happy to have a bunch of young guys around and that she can earn money while enjoying sex. She feels really contented and blissful to have a life like this. Even though she is single, she positively thinks that this kind of experience is not what normal women can enjoy.

Ling is very positive about sex work, and even sees it as a win-win solution that the customer can have sex fulfillment while she can earn her income and enjoy the intimacy with young guys. I truly respect and appreciate the attitude of Ling towards her work. She clearly understands the decisions she has made in life and be responsible for them, instead of complaining and be regretful about them.

I have encountered a lot of sex workers at work. They generally agree that sex workers are discriminated and have bad social images due to stereotypes and social culture. These women have accumulated stress from work which is hard to share with outsiders. With negative emotions accumulated, they may easily turn to drug-taking to get a temporary escape from worries and sadness.

Ling moved from mainland China and got married in Hong Kong 20 years ago. When her daughter was 4 years old, she got divorced with her husband and lived alone in Hong Kong. She has no contact with her ex-husband and daughter any more. She does not have many relatives here either. She now lives in a flat that is smaller than 50 sq.feet, but she still enjoys living independently in Hong Kong. She thinks this is how she can pursue a self-determined and relaxing mode of living.

I ask Ling why she does not run a "one-sex worker apartment", so she can have a more stable income, but she immediately rejects this idea. She thinks that she will lose the happiness and fun if she works in the mode of "one-sex worker apartment". She would also have to work every day to pay the rent. Ling thinks that compensated dating allows her to have more options. She can choose to just make a deal with young guys and choose not to overwork. She does not want to be too busy so she has time to exercise and play sports. She personally thinks it is really sad and poor to have sex with old men. She is clear that she does not need to earn a lot of money but just enough to maintain her living.

From the conversation with Ling, I can tell that she is a woman who is enthusiastic about life. She breaks through the mainstream stereotype of the traditional role of women. She respects her choice to work in the sex industry. I believe that her attitude of loving herself and to seize every moment can help her maintain positive mental health, from which I can always find a big smile on her face.