Data Base

Sex Work and Old Friends

By H

The duration of a sex worker's career varies widely—it can last as little as a day, with someone deciding the industry isn't for them, or stretch over decades of active engagement.

Many sex workers operate independently, and the demanding job nature often limits their social interactions. Over time, this isolation may lead to a lack of friends. For some, their quarterly health checkups at AFRO become an opportunity to connect, as they chat with staff who start to feel like confidants. However, the bond between sex workers and long-term clients can sometimes be even stronger.

Recently, I spoke with a sex worker about her experiences. She said,

"I've been in this line of work for so long, there's this regular client who's been coming to me for over a decade. We met when we were in our late 20s or early 30s, and now we're in our 50s. I've seen him go from being single to getting married and having a kid, who's grown up now."

She continued,

"These days, we don't even have sex anymore. When we meet, it's like catching up with an old friend. We sit down, share a meal, chat about life, and even laugh about our gray hair and wrinkles. We spend an hour or two like this. Honestly, he sees me more often than you guys at afro. He comes once a month, and you see me every three months—just like old friends."

Still, she reflected on the transient nature of these connections,

"Maybe I'll quit in a few years. When that time comes, I probably won't meet him again. Even though we're like friends, I wouldn't want to reconnect with clients after leaving the industry—it would just remind me of the past."

The nature of sex work often limits sex workers' opportunities to make "conventional" friendships, and clients can become their primary social connections. Over years of interaction, these relationships can evolve into a unique blend of professional and personal, with elements of both friendship and client-service dynamics. For some, this hybrid relationship feels like the most comfortable and suitable arrangement.